what is going on?

hi guys. back here so late *______* have u ever wondering y d hell in the world friends always come and go? i don't understand that but aaaaaamm..... it is hard right to lose them? i am not so sure. now i am listening to pretty reckless-make me wanna die. i heard this song first time when i watched victoria's secret fashion show lately. very intersting opening. with candice opening d show looking like that, pow! uh-may-zinnnnn!  so let's get back to my story. where m i just now? mmmmm ok. i have a few friends that seems like they trying to run away from me. ok not just me, with me n my friends. y, i don't understand. so i don't wanna think a lot about that. im just wanna know how it feels like when losing our friend. ooo i thought it is already 4 a.m but it is 2:30.. hihihi i need time machine. 

ok the second thing is. officially, it is the right time for me to have a girlfriend. y?cause litarally i found my self confused. oooo it is not my orientation. im just confused my my self with what the heck m i doin. how could it b like this. yeah after 5 and a half year being single, totally drive me cuh ray zeee... so many speculation about me has been made. i can find a girl to be my girl in a short time. butta, the q is, it is just for fun or is it for me to love her like for real. i don't wanna treat her like a bull dog if i can't love her just because to cover up all the rumors that i am gay. that is not fair for those girl. so i made my mind clearly, "no matter what people gonna say about me, go on. but when the time is right, game on". sya told me that i might be a good lover if i had a girl. poww! how d hell in the world this guy with so much energy goin on, loud, hyper, extremely half rude, hard-headed, lazy but hardworking, swinging mood person can be a good lover. for god sake, i don't get it neither.

so, i am not so sure if i have a class tomorrow morning cause, everybody keep sayin that "esok? kelas? ade ke weh?" hahahaha powww again! 80% happy answer. well i am listening to nicki minaj right now. super bass. what is that mean? super bass? boobs + ass? oh kemon nicki, we knew what's that song real meaning is. butta... your song and your voice r so cool. haha my hair looks terrible without my hat. very unbalanced. 

to make sure that im in a good condition, i will stay in da house tomorrow think about who i am really was. if i don't have a class tomorrow hahaha. so its time for me to walk around to c what is d new posts of my friend. :) have a good night and day people *______- red malboro just  make my head spinningaround. haha

WHY?

THERE IS SOME THING IN MY BODY THAT STILL SLEEPING. 

AND IT IS NOT THAT EASY BEING POSITIVE 

EVERY SINGLE MINUTES OF MY LIFE.

I AM A HUMAN, NOT A DANCER.

I AM A PERSON WHO NEVER BE AFRAID OF MAKING A MISTAKES. 

IF I HAVE A CHANCE TO SAY THAT I AM MAD WITH EVERY SINGLE ONE OF

YOU, I WOULD. I AM SICK AND TIRED OF BEING BLAMED BECAUSE OF OTHERS.

I HAVE LEARNED WORK ETHIC, COMMITMENT, PUNCTUAL, LOVE AND LIE,

AND LIFE. WITH A WICKED MIND, I'LL STAY

LIKE THIS. NOT AS A GAY, STRAIGHT, BISEX, BUT AS A PERSON WHO THINK ABOUT

HIS FUTURE LIFE.

 LITERALLY, I WANNA BE,

A PHOTOGRAPHER THAT CAN EARNED LOTTA MONEY,

AN ARCHITEC,

SO AM I SUPPOSED TO CARE ABOUT MY GRAMAR RIGHT NOW? NO. I AM MAD.

Y?

CAUSE I AM LOSING WHO I AM AND WHO I AM SUPPOSED TO BE.

I AM SECRETLY SAD AND DO CRY Y :

STILL SINGLE.

STILL HAVING THE SAME RESULT.

STILL ALONE. EVEN THOUGH I AM HAVING A LOT OF FRIEND IN MY LIFE.

IT IS GONNA BE DREAM COMES TRUE IF ..

I M SMILIN'

assalammualaikum. ola!!! happy month even though struggling a bit with co-workers and manager. hahahaha but its over. over~~sepanjang bekerja kat situ... i learned work ethic, commitment, punctuality, and money!   hahaha x mau dah aq keje banquet. keje kat cafe department lagi bayekkk. sekarang kulit hitam sebab baru balik pangkor... x pe berbaloi. bestnye lain macam dari dulu. walaupun da 2 kali datang pangkor, tp ni paling best ah. hahaha minggu depan dah start semester 6. the last chapter for diploma. cheewah.pui. hahahaha x tau ape jadi, tapi bia tuhan tentukan. heeee. 

+

i just fell in love lately. again..heeee so... hit me with any love song, i can sing it like the song is mine. hahahaha bunga tahi ayam sudah kembang mekar... diam diam! :)

api kebanggan kami selama 2 malam. hahahaha

SETELAH SEKIAN LAMA

HYE!  lamae x melawat di blog sendiri ini. hahahaha sebulan lebih! "mane ade!!! 2 bulan lebih ah!"(suara hati cakap.) keje cuti sem mmg terase cepat gile doe. sebulan lebih cuti rase mcam 3 minggu je cuti tapi x po jang. gaji best beli barang idaman. hahahaha aq nk beli kasut. aq nk beli bag vans.. gile bag tu lawa gile. rase mcam budak UK kalau pakai kasut tu. eh bag tu. actually kasut n bag skali hahaha. gaji simpan lebih dari sparuh so bole shopping. ekekeke minggu depan g pangkor ngn aiman ayul ahrip sume.. woooaaa excited. mule2 macam malas nk pegi sbub da sue kali pegi. tapi kalini gi ngn member, bebas pulak aktiviti. ahahaha mesti ah lagi best. sape cakap x mmg lupe member ah. pukap x jadi pegi. die meratap di klang mengenangkan result. ai dayumm result betul2 cukup makan macam haremmmmmmmm.... 3.00 xpo jang. last semester aq buat rombakan study. kurang lepak, lebihkan pool, study lebih. ok? seyes ni... tiada tipu helah. pool bukan melepak, pool itu adalah sukan. so aq bersukan. ekekekekeke 

pada hari yang mulia 4-11-2011.... tarikh keramat seorang budak kampung masuk ke bandar selama 2 tahun setengah, menyambut hari jadinya yang jadi pada tarikh ni... dan di hari yang sama, menjenguk result sem 5.... puii aq la orangnye!! result kali pertama tgok, x de perasaan langsung. 3.00? nk happy ke sedih.? sebab betul2 cukup2 makan. HJ(haram jaddah). malam sikit... g makan ngn ayul adib mokk sume then kene tepung tawar.... hambek! 

yang x disangka2.. ade org ingat bday aq.. terharu la. terharu tahap usop wilchair ahahaha 

perkembangan keluarga? oh. sedikit confused. asal aq x dibawak ke sabah sekali bulan 12 ni hah? mentang2 da naik sem.. haiihhh untung ah... yang abang g london, yang mak n kakak kakak g sabah.... yang adiknye duk study kat shah alam. haiiihhhh sabah kot. lawa la tempat2 kat situ. merajuk rajuk ah aq.  mak kate lain kali la kite pegi eh? "mmmmmm"- jawapan aq...(harap2 dapat pegi dengan sebab kesian... tapi x dengar cite pon dapat pegi.,puii) 

cuti sem da nak abes. keje lagi tige minggu lebih..boleh collect dalam beratus2 -harapan- tapi sifat malasmenjadi jadi!!!!

akhir citer. nant
i aq post lagi ye sebab jam 5 pagi adalahh waktu sah utk makhluk mcm aq beradu dikamar sewa ini. hahaha selamat malam.

MAKES ME WONDER~!

hai again. its been a while that im not posting any kind of shitty shitty blah here :) am i busy? not that much, im just busy thinking what am i gonna be for next year. i need a new track, to be who am i supposed to be when i grow up. some people just living their life like there is no tomorrow. i have my tomorrow. a fucking diamond waiting for me so i do what i want, what i wanna have. im 20, and this is the time.. of my life... wahhhh im so black eyed peas hihihi.. there is no joy for me when i spent my family money too much. they work their butt out till 5pm for me and themself makes me think that im the last person in d family, and i should be sucessed just like them. "you have nothing to worried about, you've got your faimily, they can give you what you want" that's the word gonna make or break you. for me, i can became lazy, bossy, arrogant or in other word, loser. the bigest loser. yes they are my air that i need to survive.. where i really2 need a favor from them so here we go. it was many years ago, my late that said to my mom, "you have nothing to worried about azhar, he's gonna doin fine" and now im worried about myself, if its true, i have to think about a right thing. eyes to eyes with my brother helped me a lot about my future, what kind of course fit me well and my ability and chances for me to have a really nice job. the answer is, interior design.... yes! i like it like it!! again.. im so rihanna right now HAHAHA imma gonna survive and i will.

new life just perfect for me i guest!!!! hihi just meet new people and my ex school classmate moved to this fucking big city. now its easy for me to talkwith them, no facebook anymore! just right here! anytime! if i have a problem, they are the first to know and a few people, ahhh sorry not you, i mean you. you r no longer my inspiration. have a nice life without us :)  no turning back when i said this cause imean it. so my last advice for you, CHANGE! notice my new sign above? WHEN I THINK THEM IMMA SPEAK

listening to matt costa, cold december and astair over and over again...... cold august guys!! :) this is my new insomnia picture!

not photoshop but brainyshop

mmmm i found this pictures on tumblr... ver creative... we don't need photoshop but brainyshop

 

 

 

and this one is my favourite one... and idk y.. very calm....

YET I AM STILL~

hai yaal.. sup? i mean what's up hahahahaha my mid term holiday is kinda relax... its almost over but yet, i am not satisfied with this free time.. always have a lot of drama going on. then how i reacted with it? im just laughed so much as i can by watching a lotta lotta movie, mtv drama and pool. yes pool. + i gotta this fever that is just ruined my days a bit but i am fine. yes do not forget, my national geographic n solar system documentaries.. nerd right??? hahaha a little nerdy mood nerver hurt anybody~ :) 

do you guys remember when i said that i am losing my self??? yet i am still.. so confusing. this is not about my orientation. of course i am straight. just still stay single! aq rasa x ada org tnye pon aq straight ke x kat sini hahahahaha the most wondering thing right now is am i found the right people in my life?

PAPADOM 2~

~ NO EXPLAINATION AVAILABLE ~

 

 

 

 acting is so tired

THE WAKE UP CALL

i guest this blog is not dead, its just coma for a few weeks. hahahaha well i think im just got the wake up call. call for what? call for me to go to the next level! haaaa that's what i wanted. im just so chill even when im broke, i am chiller when im rich. HAHAHAHA haaa that's one of the examples my next level. want another? i don't know but im feeling better when i looked in the mirror. hahahahaha this is not about how i looks like, his is about me. oh ok, mid term break is coming, tomorrow is the last day of the fucking classes then im free, i can go anywhere that i wanted, have some rest. no assignments (this is just my dream.. as long as imma student, assignment is my soul, so i will do my assignments like usual). 

people, i noticed that facebook getting worst than ever right? cause the IM, just annoyed me so badly, its look so weird.. that's the only problem left. ahahaha and, last two days, my friend asked me about who's my crush is? well i bet you know who.. hihihi so i don't wanna say anything, i see her everyday so i better keep my mouth shut (like seriously, nobody knew about this). when we talk about someone special, what does it means to you? i mean other than family. it can be your friends, lover, or ex-special someone. i don't find the answer of this, i do appreciated it but in a different kind of ways.... "stone does sink in the water, ball just kept floating and heading no where...." woooaahhhhh that's my own quotes!!!!! imma legend! livvviiiing legend HAHAHA 

ANNOUNCEMENT

AND THIS BLOG IS DEAD

short note~!

hai peeps!! it is been a while that I'm not posting anything right here. hahaha like wise.. ups and down life just drive me crazy. so.. i played pool, movies, hang out with my fucking friends and also finished my assignments.. now, im feeling a bit relax but my test on Wednesday... hahaha crazy right. this is the time of my life. BEP said that. but i ain't complaining, this is what i chosen. ok bye im so sleepy again so see you guys later :D btw rihanna music so good! 

I AM FINE NOW.. TQ :)

LOST IN MY SELF~!

I CAN SAY THAT RIGHT I AM LOST IN MY SELF. I DON'T HAVE A PLAN FOR MY SELF OTHER THAN STUDY STUFF. I DON'T EVEN HAVE A SECURE MIND THINKING, ALWAYS NEGATIVITY INSIDE OF MY HEAD. ALL THE WORDS THAT CAME OUT FROM MY MOUTH WAS FROM MY MIND. SO I MEAN IT AND ITS HURT OTHER PEOPLE FEELING. I HAVE BEEN MOTIVATED MYSELF TO NOT TO BELIEVED ANYBODY SO HARD AND AT THE END, I HAVE TO PAY THE FINE. HOW I CAN REDEEM BACK ALL OF MY MISTAKE? TOTALLY DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HOW I CAN DO IT. 

YOU CAN SEE IM SMILING, BEING CRAZY, LOUD, FUN, HYPERACTIVE ALL DAY LONG IN FRONT OF YOU GUYS.. BUT, WHEN I GOT BACK HOME... EVERYTHING IS JUST SO WRONG. YAH, ITS MIGHT BE JUST BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND. I DON'T KNOW. EVERYTHING IS JUST NOT THE SAME! NOT THE SAME LIKE I USED TO. 

I WANTED MY SELF BACK. LOST IN THE MIDDLE OF MY LIFE IS JUST WRONG. GOTTA TELL YA, I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL I AM TALKING ABOUT. ITS LIKE EMPTY WORDS FROM ME BUT ITS HURTS.. PEOPLE SAID THAT YOUR LIFE NEVER GONNA BE  PERFECT IF YOU DON'T HAVE A PROBLEMS. BUT THIS IS TOO PERFECT FOR ME. WHAT M I SUPPOSED TO DO? OTHER THAN PRAY TO GOD. I AM RECENTLY.. ITS WORKING.. OTHER THAN THAT. THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I FEELS SO LOST WITH MYSELF. THE FULL EVENT ANTICIPATION JUST MAKES ME FEEL WANNA BURST~~ ITS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN... AND ITS MY MOMENT I THINK THAT WAKE UP CALL FROM ANYBODY NEVER GONNA CHANGED ME. IT IS FROM MY SELF. 

FRIEND COMES AND GO, MONEY COMES AND GO, CAR COMES AND GO, A LOT OF THING COME AND GO. BUT HOW CAN I CHOOSE TO NOT TO LET IT GO. I AM NOT REGRET WHEN I HATES SOMEBODY. I REGRET THE THINGS THAT I WANNA TO STAY TILL THE LAST BEAT OF MY HEART  GONE. 

YOU CAN SAY THAT TROUBLE IS OUR FRIEND. YES IT IS. IT IS ACTUALLY THE BEST DEMON THAT YOU HAVE INSIDE OF YOUR HEAD. YOU WANT YOUR FUTURE, YOU CAN HAVE IT...JUST ERASE ME FROM YOUR PAST.. I NEED YOU TO GONE FAST. THATS WHAT PEOPLE SAID THAT WHEN THEY HATE YOU.

LADY GAGA~!

never knew~!

aiiii sekarang semuanya dah x sama... 

aq sangat sedih kalau nk tahu.

KPB pon busy, x leh kua,malas kelua, x sempat aq nk share problem dengan die.

duduk rumah bosan, lagi bosan kot dari semester break.

kalau lah bende2 ni sebenarnye x betul, aq happy gile. 

kawan semua ramai. tapi kawan yang lebih penting dan x ramai tu x ada bile lepak bersama buat aq sangat sedih dan bosan. bff la katakan. 

next story,

ada orang pecahkan rahsia pasal hujung sem lepas dekat aq sebab rasa bersalah dekat aq, membuatkan aq rasa sangat lah seperti orang yang mudah dipermainkan, ditipu, dan dilayan seperti sampah. should be nothing to me about that. 

senang kata, kalau kau still nak berkawan dengan aq, yeayyy la yang aq ckp..

tp kalau kau malas nk berkawan dengan aq lagi, ckap pon dgn aq mcm nak x nak,

x pa ah, lupakan sahaja pasal kita punye persahabatan,

aq x nak jadi orang yang dilupakan bila kau senang,

pertolongan dekat depan mata aq bila kau susah.

dah letih dah... harap dapat lepak dengan kau lagi macam dulu. aq nak sangat ni.

disebabkan 1 human being perubahan menjadi ketara.

ape tah salah aq sampai kau buat mcm ni. 

"friends" friends~!

stole my happy, made my cry

Took the lonely and took me for a ride

And I wanna undo it

had my mind, now I want it back

I'm starting to see everything you guys lack

friends, you guys blew it

 put me through it

And I never say your name, and I never will

And all your things, well I threw 'em in the trash

And I'm not even sad

Now you guys only have yourself to blame

For playing all those stupid games

You guys always gonna be the same

you all never change

want my future?

hell no, can't have it

I'm still trying to erase you guys from my past

I need you and you gone so fast

Oh, maybe next time they'll think before they cheat...

you wanted to hide your "privacy" i give you now.

you wanted to keep it secret, go on.

you wanted to use me for your own priority, its over.

OWLS~!

OI! OI! IM BACK~ ITS BEN A WHILE THAT IM NOT POSTING ANYTHING HERE AITTE? 

WELL IM JUST..... MMMMM

BEAUTIFUL MOMENT~

weiredo~!

i think it is better if im just stay in my hometown!! feels so much better there. 

oh god im so boring in here...

feels like live in a dead city.. things just getting weird ahahahahaha

what so ever. focus on my goal! 

plus, today is the most irritating day ever so far. 

plus feels so confused.

sunsad~!

global~!

yoyoyo!!! what dup... im back. yaw check this out.

in years 2020, the whole world gonna sank!!! yow not the whole world, i mean half of it.

malacca,penang, terengganu and all of place near 

with the ocean will gone. this is because of the global warming. 

hah beyonce, you think that you wanted to run this world? let see, how many girls will stay alive after this phenomenon? AHAHAHA! but i think your song is fierceee!

maybe we can say goodbye to singapore if this global warming "things" getting worst. 

well btw... i just found my student id card this morning... of course im happy..

but the thing is, its broke... 

HAHAHAHA! GOTTA GET A NEW ONE!

zombie night~!

very weird~!

break~!

ooooo i guest its been a while that im not posting a lot of word here huh? a bit busy with cocky life AHAHA! at least im not online on facebook all day long. let see what i did this couple of weeks. wait i don't remember exactly what i did actually. 

ok last week on monday i went to my friend house in kl with my friends, not sleepover there.. hee pretty intense birthday party actually. y? cause someone that all of us hated, arrived with big smile. O_o who did invited him? nobody know. so we kinda faked it up a little bit by putted a big smile on our face cause we don't wanna ruin everything. so weird.

and family problems came out from nowhere! aiiieeeeeeee 

there is a few thing that i did.
leave all the busting up people
b more selfish
live my own life
makes those crazy stuff as a top secret. this secret couple must be die. strike 2
leave this fucking group that stabbed me.
short hair or long hair?


i wish i just can undo it.


well.. pirates 4 was amazzing!!!!!! very interesting and always.


arggghhh  my result is on wednesday... oh no.. what about if i have to repeat print costing? damn it. im suck at it. goshhhhhhhh its a nightmare.

well i guests there is nobody wanna go to ikea cause there is a pig elements in the meatballs. AHAHAHA! save your money for others.
btw. it ts necessary to complementing ourself infront of everybody? my sister's friend did that and she said that kind of person was insecure about themselves. ouuchhhh
friends comes and go, and now in my UiTM list what's left is 1 guy 1 women that is so kenchang! :) and im feeling so good about me. plus, please, stop be friend with people that is wealthy. it doesn't get you anywhere at the end of the day. cause u just wanted to look hot! -__-


watched sunset on semester break at the beach was so relaxing btw. 

block~!

saye dah block orang kat facebook~! yelah aq kan "perasan hot", "budget", "stalker" katanya ~ ehehehehe nanti aq unblock korang ye :) have a nice day bunch of busting up people! :) ok now, best friends, korang x di block no worries! -budget gile azhar!-

for me blocking is like unfriend, so the time we get back together as a friend, i'll unblock you! AHAHAHAHA!

heavily and heavenly~!

-heavily unhealthy-

-heavenly foods-

nephew and niece~!

BUDGET~!

oh... i needed to go to shopping. ai yai yai..

first details:

1. i need new watch.. its about RM250 something like that. :(|  mom...can i...

2. new SONIC EARPHONES RM50

3. i need new shirts and t-shirt.. any prices, idc.. brands outlet pon boleh~! RM?

4.new skin care stuff.. total: RM150+- 

5. new underwear... yeah men! 

6. new external hard disk... urghhh i broke the old one. don't have any budget yet

7. new socks.

first of all, must get the watch first! must! im feelin so good

something old, something new~!

teringat lagi kat post yang "lagi bnyak kawan lagi bnyak masalah"

mmmm tapi tu la what can i do other than being my self as real as i can.

when it is too real, its getting weird. and people start questioning who the hell 

is he? what's his orientation? is he matured? urrrghh

so whatevar, i will never care about this shit like this before.

can i being mean? yes.

can i being nice? yes.

can i being selfish? yes.

can i stop thinking about them? absolutely 

who am i, what i do right and what i do wrong.
this break its all about refreshing and formatting my mind.

i should remove several people that is useless to me in any way so i can be fine.

so that's mean no more diplomatic communication with this bunch of busting up people. im following my heart not my mind. using your mind after your heart working out. the rays for backstabbing game ends here!

go buy a new ticket to enter other people personal life.

mmmm 

if i start it here, its gonna be everywhere 

and yes baby i will if you wanted to

you know, money comes and go, 

car comes and go, 

a lot of thing comes and go... it is including friend comes and go...

thank god im so chill this break and not thinking about ya! 

the girls~!

I THINK THIS IS SO FUNNY~! SO I WANNA LAUGH OUT LAUGH 

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
CAUSE EVERY TIME I SEE THIS I LAUGHING VERY HARD